Saturday, December 13, 2014

Sexual Abuse: It Is Not Ok, You Are Not Alone

Amidst the Bill Cosby sexual abuse scandal, I felt like this would be a good time to talk about something that is too often 'brushed under the rug'.  Like many other "80's babies",  I grew up watching the Cosby Show and admiring Bill Cosby's humor and family values on-screen.   The Cosby Show was one of those real classic family shows that depicted Black families in a good light.  The entire family could watch it without fear of the kids seeing sex scenes or violence.  It was just wholesome television.  Needless to say, this whole thing is very difficult for me to understand.

I will say that it is not my place to decide if he really did abuse these women or not but, I do believe that where there is smoke there is usually fire.  If this is all true, at the very least, these women deserve to be heard.  Too many victims of sexual abuse go around holding onto the pain and shame that comes along with suffering in silence.

In such a sexually charged society, it is strange to me that there is such difficulty in discussing sexual abuse and what can be done to help victims and prevent new ones. On the radio, music lyrics give graphic details of one night stands and while watching television you can now see more skin and hear more sexual innuendos than intended yet, talking about rape and molestation still makes most uncomfortable.

I have not been the victim of sexual abuse but, I am saddened by the seemingly "normalcy" of it all now.  I read, listen to, and hear about so many women and men who have be molested and/or raped in their lifetimes that it's unreal.   I can not imagine being victimized like that and then having to go on and live your life as if nothing happened, as so many attempt to do everyday.  These victims grow up, have children and oftentimes, they end up being victimized too.

Sexual abuse has plagued too many generations.  It is past time that we talk openly about sexual abuse with each other, lawmakers and most importantly our children.

One of my fave Youtubers, JazJackson shares a little bit about her story.

If you have experienced sexual abuse in the past or currently, know that you deserve to be heard and respected! Do not continue to let someone make you a victim and prevent you from living free from the guilt and shame.  You were created for so much more!

Talk to a friend or family member you can trust about what is going on.  If there is no such person in your life, there are resources you can turn to,  Call 1-800-656-HOPE to speak with someone today.  You deserve to be heard.

Websites dedicated to helping sexual abuse victims and identifying sexual abuse:


  1. Couldnt agree with you more on this one. I hope that despite no charges against Mr.Cosby at present at least those that have come.forward

  2. What's really bothering me is the disrespect to Cosby's accusers, the automatic assumption that they're lying. But, that's really the way sexual abuse is viewed by our society - that it's the victim's fault.

  3. Usually, victims of child abuse choose to be silent because of the trauma and the loss of their dignity, which made them afraid and ashamed to speak. If only we can teach our children to be brave in facing each and every struggle they encounter, but everyone has their own way of dealing. In any way, thanks for sharing such a heartwarming read, Candice! I wish you all the best!

    Natashia Khan @ Waukesha Criminal Attorneys


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