Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Let's Talk About S-E-X....or maybe not

There's no denying that sex is a natural part of life.  It is necessary to create life and, when used in the right circumstances (and done right!) ,can make everyday, mundane life so much more enjoyable!  Yet, when it comes to discussing the subject with their children, most parents become very uncomfortable and may avoid "the talk" altogether.

Oftentimes, our beliefs about sex are passed down from what our parents taught us about it (or didn't teach us) and  along with it, they pass down all types of misconceptions and myths too.

I remember when my mother was pregnant with my brother and I asked her, "How do you get a baby anyway?"

My mother said," You go to the doctor and tell him that you want a baby and he gives you a pill that makes a baby grow inside."

I can't help but to laugh about it now, but I was only six at the time so I believed that to be true until I found out otherwise when I got older.  Then, as a teenager the only other discussion I had with my parents about sex was my mom telling me, "Make sure you don't bring any babies in this house!" 

Of course, this taught me nothing about sex and I was too fearful to even think that I could talk to my parents about anything dealing with the subject.  It also drilled into my head that if I dared to get pregnant before I was married, I better not bring it home.  Which is exactly what happened, resulting in a whole host of other issues later on.

I do not blame my parents for anything though. I know they were just doing what my grandparents probably did with them. Although I'm sure it is not that easy, when I have children I plan to be more open, frank and less judgmental on the matter. 

What were you taught about sex? How will it affect how you choose to approach the subject with your own children?

*note- I would like to use your comments in the upcoming Southwest Parenting magazine ( in an article about having "the talk"with your children so, feel free to share.*


  1. My parents (mother especially) were always very careful to make sure that I had the right information about sex. We knew about all the various options for birth control. Condoms, pill, diaphragm etc. There were always books and around if there was a particular question that we needed to research. Getting the clinical information wasn't an issue. I had even seen my mother put a condom on a banana and her own fist (proof that he's not too big to fit). Having that information empowered me. My parents preached abstinaence until marriage but I was fully aware of the risks of sexual activity. I say risks because although I had a lot of information about sex, it was all from a perspective of fear and so I missed out on learning about the beauty of choosing a partner and learning how to 'enjoy' sex. I am now a parent and I hope to be even more open with my children. Sex education is a lifelong process and so when my 4 year old asks questions, I answer honestly, truthfully and in an age appropriate way. I don't really know any different.

    It is true, you are (for the most part) the kind of parent that you were taught to be.

    I saw an episode of Oprah where the guest counselor was encouraging parents to teach their teenage daughters 'self pleasure' so that the daughter will be less inclined to think that 'only a man can make her feel THAT good.' I know for sure that I won't be going that far but I hope to set the pace for my children to have a healthy view of sex and their own sexuality.

  2. Prudence, I think it's great when parents can be that open with their children about sex. I also agree with you when you say that you had to learn how to enjoy sex. It took me a while to realize that sex was meant to be enjoyed (in the right circumstance of course) and not to be feared or something to be ashamed of.

    Thanks for your response!


Let me know what your thoughts are. Leave a comment!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Template: Blog Designs by Sheila